Grumpy and ignorant Tripadvisor reviews for Dorset landmarks


Tripadvisor is a great place to go before you go somewhere. Each tourist attraction has hundreds of reviews from past visitors, letting you know what to expect.

But while many of these reviews are helpful to the potential visitor, some are less so, even if downright hilarious.

Here are some of the funniest reviews left on Tripadvisor about famous Dorset landmarks, all of which attract overwhelmingly positive responses from hordes of visitors.

Read more: Places near Dorset where you are most likely to meet a celebrity

Are these serious catches? Has anyone had a bad day? Or do these apparent Debby Downers just have a good sense of humor?

Lulworth Cove and Durdle Door – “disgusting”

While these natural wonders formed over millions of years are undeniably beautiful, the quality of local tourist amenities (yes – all of them) is far from good, for some.

A recent visitor didn’t hesitate to review the local cafes and restaurants. Plus, as someone who’s tasted almost everything on offer, she knows how to fix it.

“Nice location with absolutely disgusting cafes [and] bars that prefer to serve rubbish, knowing you’ll never come back,” the disturbed day tripper said.

“Most of these establishments thrive on serving absolutely disgusting food and all with rude and unprofessional staff. I have yet to visit a single place that serves fresh food.

“How disgusting to our visitors that these horrible establishments feel the need to serve this kind of food.”

But never fear, this tourism expert has a foolproof solution. “Someone really needs to capitalize on this and open a cafe that serves fresh, quality food at a decent price,” they say.

And another: “Having visited most of the places Lulworth has to offer, I think it would be good if there was a code between all the restaurants, cafes and cafes.”

So food and drink outlets at Lulworth Cove and Durdle Door, you know what to do.

Corfe Castle – “some old ruins”

Corfe Castle and Village, Isle of Purbeck, Dorset

A recent visitor to this attraction apparently wasn’t sure what he wanted to do when he decided to visit the 11th-century ruin.

“Visiting the castle is a total waste of time and money,” they decided, as it costs “£11 to get in and then you have a climb to see some old ruins.”

There is perhaps the core of a good point in that: “I don’t understand how they can charge this amount when better attractions like Durham Cathedral and Easby Abbey are free”, add -they.

But the idea of ​​rating a thousand-year-old castle one out of five on the basis that it’s just “a few old ruins” – when it was besieged and then scorned during the English Civil War – seems hilariously naive.

Old Harry Rocks – “awful”

Old Harry Rocks on the Dorset coast
Old Harry Rocks on the Dorset coast

This geological wonder is ranked by visitors using Tripadvisor as the best thing to do in Swanage, out of 27 possible pastimes. It even won a Travellers’ Choice Award 2021.

But not everyone is wowed by the breathtaking spectacle of the prehistoric seabed on display in all their fossilized glory, or the romantic story of old Harry and his late ‘wife’, who slowly sank into the sea. .

“Horrible,” one reviewer said in 2014, adding, “this was the worst holiday I’ve ever had.” Why? “The view is so one-dimensional,” apparently — despite the coastal walks offering views of the attraction from multiple angles.

“There’s a lack of good restaurants” there too, as well as “rude locals and a lack of toilets – or at least we couldn’t find them”. But would you really want to dine atop a towering sea tower? Or climb one to relieve yourself?

Brownsea Island – “boring”

Brownsea Castle and Pier seen from the water
Brownsea Castle and Pier seen from the water

The largest island in Poole Harbor at 36 square kilometres, Brownsea is famous for its wildlife. Red squirrels, peacocks, herons and little egrets are favorite visitor attractions.

It’s also where Scouting was founded, after hosting Robert Baden-Powell and 21 boys on an experimental camping trip in 1907.

But if you don’t like nature or social history, it’s just “boring” – according to one TripAdvisor visitor, anyway.

“Brownsea Island is probably lovely for a family trip,” said a user of the website calling himself “UK Adviser”, who presumably did not visit on a family trip.

But it ‘gets rather boring after five minutes’, they continue, adding, ‘like seriously what do you expect from where scouts were founded’.

Ouch. Someone needs to get outside a bit more – maybe light a campfire, watch the birds and sing a little.

Weymouth Beach – “smelled like a fish market”

Weymouth Beach
Weymouth Beach

Weymouth poor beach. Despite being voted the third best thing to do in Weymouth (out of 69) and winning a Travellers’ Choice Award last year, people insist on hanging all sorts of complaints on it.

Most of them have nothing to do with the beach, but the surrounding amenities and the town of Weymouth.

These are, according to one reviewer, either “empty units” or full of “tourist trash”. And the folks running them had the audacity to call the reviewer a “grockle” – a Southwestern term for a vacationer.

This disgruntled visitor even criticized the beach itself for being “tired and tired”. The comment about the “awful” traffic light system probably wasn’t related to the famous foreshore either.

Another holidaymaker, seemingly unaware of where the fish come from, was horrified to find the promenade smelled ‘like Billingsgate Fish Market’.

Even more puzzling, they then asked if that ‘awful’ smell was coming from ‘cruise ships docked in the bay’. Was that a real question, or did they not like grumblers either?

Swanage Railway – “hated every minute”

It seems baffling that anyone could harbor such intense resentment towards an ancient railway, preserved by volunteers for generations who have never known steam trains.

But it is possible, of course. One reviewer called their heritage attraction experience “complete rubbish”, before becoming more than a little political.

“Plandemic (sic) overacters took pleasure in the F,” begins their tirade. “You want to have your cake and eat it!” A train ! Reservation only, even empty trains wouldn’t allow it [us] on because time on tickets only!”

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Rail services – which have continued to operate thanks to their dedicated volunteers – might as well not be there. “Real steam enthusiasts, beware – all nostalgia is gone,” the angry visitor warned.

They concluded that they “will never travel again”. Let’s hope they keep that promise, at least for a while – for their safety and that of those who share the air with them.

Another visitor was disappointed that their planned birthday dinner on a steam train ended up being driven by a ‘regular diesel’. (True, they are still common in the North.)

It was because the steam locomotive had broken down – not outside the realm of possibility, you might think. This visitor thought not.

“They said the steam train had just broken down,” they moaned. “[I’ve] heard that one before. I’m sure you’ll hear it again. It is possible, as long as very old mechanical things keep breaking down. What they tend to do.

“There are better options in the area,” they added. Which may exist, unless you want to visit an old railway line. “It would have been much cheaper to stay at home,” they concluded – which would certainly apply to any of these attractions.

So if you’d rather be safe than sorry, don’t bother going anywhere in Dorset – you could have your day ruined by someone growling nonsensically.

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